Part 10

 “Argh!”

A hand flies to my face to block out the white light flooding my computer screen, blindingly bright. I fumble with the other hand to lower my brightness setting. My computer does weird stuff sometimes. 

When I can see again, I see that the whole screen has been taken over by a pop-up chat window. It looks the same as the one from the porn website, only there isn’t a picture at the top this time and instead of telling me that “Brianna is typing” the text reads “Someone is typing”. Out of habit I sit patiently waiting for whoever is on the other side of this chat to finish their thought. 

“so you’ve returned”

“i’m glad”

A noted tonal shift from our previous interaction, assuming this still is indeed Busty Brianna. I return my fingers to home row.

“Who are you?”

“do you really think that is important?”

“you’re going to talk to me anyway”

I feel myself frown, and then wonder if this person can see my expression through my webcam. I briefly consider grabbing a sticky note to cover it but decide against getting up. If they have access to our webcams they’ve seen me looking a lot worse.

“What makes you say that?”

“you’re lonely”

My chest twinges. Part of why I can never stay in therapy very long is because I can’t stand hearing people talk about my issues, how sad my life is. It all seems so much more pathetic in someone else’s mouth.

“you clicked the link. you’re so desperate for human contact that you’d risk letting a cyber stalker into your computer”

My heart pounds. What was I thinking? I can’t make my fingers move to respond.

“you already know that i have access to your friends webcam. you just gave me access to yours. to your whole system. pictures, passwords, browser history… the amount of time you spend online you should really know better”

I’m lightheaded. What the fuck was I thinking?

“but that’s not why im here. i know about the barn incident. your roommate told me all about it. she told me you were there with her.”

At the mention of the barn, a sudden chill overtakes me. I haven’t thought about it in so long I was almost able to convince myself it wasn’t real. Like it was all just some weird fever dream.

“i know what you saw and i know you’re trying to forget. your roommate brings it up and you act like you don’t hear. but i know. i appreciate the effort. and so i’m rewarding you”

I shiver. My roommate’s never mentioned the barn to me, not since we drove away from it all those months ago. I’m straining to recall whether we discussed it on the ride back but the memory is escaping me. It’s all fuzzy around the edges, like it was stored improperly in my mind and started molding. 

“you wont hear from me again”

My arm feels wet. I have a sensation like my whole body is buzzing, the way a limb prickles when its fallen asleep. Sharply, I try to shake myself awake, and when a drop rolls off my chin I realize that tears are streaming from my eyes. I wipe at my face, smearing salty fluid all over my skin. Sitting up (had I been lying down?) I notice that the front of my shirt is soaked through, either with sweat or tears (when did I start sweating?). Something inside me feels unclean, and I get up to take a shower. Halfway to the bathroom I think to shut off my computer to save energy (had I been on the computer?) but when I return to my bedroom it’s already off.