haleyscomets: halley's comet (Default)
[personal profile] haleyscomets
So after I realized my childhood home was no longer my own, I've become obsessed with the idea of customizing a space. Specifically as a means of claiming ownership.

My stepmother customizes space by never cleaning up the crumbs around the edges of the kitchen floor, but insisting on bitching at us when she finds us in the kitchen without a broom in hand. She leaves behind a sinkful of dirty dishes as she pleases, but scorns me if I leave so much as a used spoon to be cleaned later.

She manipulates the space around her so that there is always something to be done, always something I'm not doing, always something I should be doing and that I'm a worthless "retarded" good for nothing for neglecting. In this way, she claims ownership of the space through enforcing standards and rules she creates. The space is hers to be governed.

She notices the crumbs when I'm in the kitchen and forgets about them once I leave.

I always assumed she was just an anal judgemental bitch, which she is, but also it isn't about the crumbs. It's about power and influence. Very Game of Thrones.

I'm very interested in how I might customize my own space one day. I've been looking at a bunch of furniture on Urban Outfitters and I'm getting excited. I've realized that the reason I've never cared about furniture before is because I never saw it as an accessible expressive outlet for me. But once I get my deposit back and start getting babysitting money this summer, nothing will stand in my way. Well, unless I don't get my brother's room in my mom's apartment. Then I'll be sleeping on the couch, with no where to throw my overpriced hipster garbage.
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